The Best Day Ever
by Freddy Fazbear
Summary: The best day in Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria history...
1. Chapter 1

It is morning here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria, the lights on and the doors are open. Children start streaming into the establishment, screaming and laughing, with their parents following behind them. The sound of registers and children tossing coins about can be heard from the front room and game corner. I stand behind the curtains, waiting for the children to come to the front of the stage and chant my name.. "Freddy! Freddy!" Within moments, the sound of cheering and children eating fills the air in front of the curtains.. they open to a group of children eagerly awaiting the performance.

I watch them... the children's eager faces, waiting for me to start my song, for Bonnie to play the guitar, and for Chica to play the drums. The sounds of a young girl screaming for joy fills the air for the birthday girl has taken her place in front of the massive crowd... The boys and girls behind her are cheering as well, along with smacking their lips while they chew their pizza with glee. I close my animatronic eyes and wait for the last, "Freddy" to come out of the joyful birthday girl's mouth. It does... but at that point I've gotten very pissed because of the sound of screaming children complaining about my non existent performance. A man walks over, in a guard uniform. "I'll check on the animatronics mechanics real quick..," he whispers to the mother of the birthday girl, "Don't worry friends, Freddy just has a bit in his throat, I'll help him get it out and get back to the show." He tells this to the children as he closes the curtains to our performance.

"Dude, I'm fucking sick of preforming for those snot nosed brats out there.." I explained to the guard, Phone guy. He shook his head and said, "Please Freddy... we need to do this... she's not who you're playing for," he says looking to the sky, "you're playing for jesus..." I then proceeded to punch him in the dick and watch him cry in pain as the feeling of having his genitals punched by a massive metal bear spikes through his frail body.

"We are actually playing for someone important," Bonnie said with a frightful expression. I knew what was going to come.. I turned to Chica who also had a very fearful face. We had to do this... it was the only way...

The curtains opened once again and we began to play our silly little tune for the children and left Chica to pushing Phone guy away. Unfortunately, it was too late... The doors burst open and a ray of light shined into the establishment... a man walked in.. a tall, skinny, lanky man... and from his mouth, we heard a familiar demonic cry...

"WAH!" It was Waluigi... the most feared being to ever walk the face of the Earth. As he walked in, Lanky followed him from behind along with Pepe, the sad frog. This was it... this was the end of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzaria... We all knew this day would come.

NO! I would not let them take over the Pizzeria! Not now... not ever... I looked to Bonnie and Chica, "We can do this... so long as we have friendship..." At this point, my Barnie-esque voice changed into a generic anime protagonist's voice, causing the children to suddenly morph into much more detailed versions of themselves that looked quite a bit older. Waluigi looked at us and simply laughed at the idea of 3 animatronics defending a pizza place from the god of destruction, Waluigi, and his minions.

"WAH!" Waluigi waluigied as he sprang forward and landed on a table with a great thump. We couldn't turn back now... we couldn't let him take this place over. "We are the defenders of the Pizza!" Chica yelled as she jumped off the stage onto the table in front of Waluigi, blowing the table to bits.

Waluigi was not impressed by this, he called Lanky over to use his special power... the power of HE! Lanky then burst into the DK rap and began to spin through the air to Chica's location. Bonnie jumped down from the stage and smackied Lanky away, causing him to hit a game machine and warping into cyber space to fight against the marauding mildly avoiding copy right characters of the game. Lanky died that day... and he will always be missed...

Waluigi was impressed with Bonnie for defending Chica and said, "I now ship you! Wah!" Waluigi had made an awful mistake... he uttered the trigger word... the unholy word "SHIP". Everything went silent... we all looked at Waluigi with fear... "You know not what you have done.." I said.  
Suddenly, Foxy ripped open the curtain covering pirate's cove and began screaming in German at Waluigi, who was now shocked at the sight. Foxy began running to Waluigi full speed while singing "She's Gone" by SteelHeart in memory of Lanky's sacrifice for his lord. Foxy stopped dead right in front of Waluigi and wrapped his limbs around Waluigi, causing Waluigi to WAH in fear. Pepe saw what was happening and simply stood there.. his eyes drooped down and he looked at the floor, "Feels bad man.." was all he said. By now... Foxy had already gotten Waluigi in a choke hold while swiftly switching songs from All Star to Hallelujah. Bonnie decided to go with it and began playing "In the Arms of the Angels" softly on his guitar as foxy slowly suffocated Waluigi.

Within 5 minutes, Waluigi was dead, and Pepe was given some Pizza and a gf to make him happy and now loyal to the Pizzaria of Freddy, willing to give up his gf and feels to help them. Things seemed well at this point... untill I realized what Foxy was doing when he had chosen his songs...

Foxy was not Foxy... and things would not be the same after what he had done...


	2. 2: Foxy, the Herald of Destruction

Foxy's choice of music was not simply shoved away in my mind like the sound of him ramming 50 dildos into his ass every night since he got Mike's laptop. This was serious...Foxy was doing something so unholy that even I, a small child's spirit haunting an animatronic bear suit because a purple guy stuffed me into it, even found horrifying. Foxy was trying to summon Shrek... perhaps one of the most powerful memegods of destruction ever to grace the world with his vile presence.

"Foxy! I know what you're trying to do! But I can't allow this to happen! I'm not ready for Shrek to use his large green hands to fist my robotic ass just yet!" I yelled to the crazy furry. I raced up to the mad fox to shut him up.. but I was too late.

The door of the pizzeria opened and a ray of light drenched our faces, blinding us from the great unholy god to appear before us. I readied myself for a loud stomp that Shrek would make with his great big ogre boots on the soft carpet entering the establishment.. but I heard no such sound. Instead, I heard a small clack of hooves bounding into the pizzeria, making its way to our location... I could not see anything because of the light.. so my fear was that Shrek became a Horseman of the Apocalypse and was charging in as Death incarnate. I was wrong.. so very wrong... once I regained my vision, my eyes fell on perhaps the most disappointing sight I have ever been cursed to look at.

It was Donkey... Shreks beloved friend and companion. With a glint in his eye and a spring in his step, he leaped onto the table before me and looked deep into my gleaming animatronic eyes..  
"Hey ya! Shrek said he couldn't be here.. Important god stuff to do! So, he sent me here to resurrect his fallen warrior, Waluigi," Donky said with a great big grin on his face, and he went over to the crushed body of Waluigi.. right near foxy where he uttered his very last "Wah" and kicked him untill Waluigi stood up, good as new.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO FOXY!? YOU FUCKING BONED US YOU BAG OF DICKS!" I shouted at the yiffy piece of shit, trying to stop myself from fisting his disgusting furry asshole into oblivion.

This threat didn't phase the furaffinity fapping shitstain who continued to burst into songs involved in Shrek movies, despite the fact that he already summoned a cast member. I grunted and turned my head to Waluigi, who was now standing tall and proud, giving us his wah like laugh that was said to be the last thing you hear before you die. My companions and I were shaking.. we could not accept the return of someone we thought to have finished off.. well.. it's too bad now.. because it's waluigi time.

Waluigi pulled out a large purple and red gun with the words "Memeblaster 2007" plastered on the left side of it. He meant buisness... he held it up high, aiming for Bonnie's chest, and let out the first blast from the ancient machine... the nyan cat. The rainbow shitting cat with a poptart glued onto it raced to Bonnie, aiming to hit him in his central servos, that if hit, would render him useless. With quick reflexes.. I pulled out one of Foxy's dildos from under the stage curtain beside me and waved it around. I was standing across from Bonnie and Fucksy was on the other side.. he fell for it, he dove into the shot and took one for the dick.. The poptart cat hit his dildo fucking ass so hard that HIS ASS WAS DESTROYED. Small bits of his badonkadonk fell all over the pizzeria floor, giving the room an aroma of bad dragon plastic covered in oil.

"MY ASS!" Foxy screeched, bursting into tears because he can no longer masturbate to furry porn anymore.

"That's what you get when you touch yourself, foxy," I said to him, my head slowly turned in the direction that a camera would be in like in the Office.

As foxy lie on the ground before Bonnie, ass destroyed, Chica was slowly scooting around the scene, trying to get to Waluigi from behind. It was working until a piece of pizza that was floating on the edge of the table next to the location of Donkey, was vacuumed up by the hooved mammal before he teleported out of the establishment by bending the fabric of time and space. This caused Chica to unleash a howl of utter rage and resentment for the poor pizza taken from her future grasp. Waluigi quickly faced her and aimed his gun to her, setting it to one of the most deadly memes 2007 could have ever produced... Carmelldansen. The ungodly Swedish song entered the air and flew right in the direction of Chica. A dead hit would kill her for sure! I didn't know what to do at this point.. I was too far away from her. I knew it was all over for our avian friend.. it would leave Bonnie and I alone to keep this pizzeria safe.. along with the misfits but who likes them anyway. A small oil tear rolled down my metal suit... I said a soft farewell to my big bara chicken nugget.

Suddenly, Chica lifted her arm and deflected the disgusting assault to our hearing over to Pirates cove... destroying it with a single shot.  
"Tch... you think you can come into my pizzeria and try to kill my friends.. hahaha, you can try... but if my pizza is at risk.. it becomes personal," Chica said, her voice started to sound like Johnathan Joestars' and she quickly dawned a jojo pose to commemorate her power and devotion to pizza.

Waluigi seemed scared by this display, drawing himself back, he gave a bit of a Waluigi laugh and said, "Wahaha! Step up, you bumbling bird!"

Chica looked at Waluigi dead in the eyes, she grunted and her eyes shifted from their plastery white with purple to pure black Nightmare eyes, bent on destruction of the vile intruder.. she opened her beak and out came these words...

**"Devour my hot bird ass, Waluigi."**


End file.
